Day 37: Enough with the apologies

There is a genuine need for heartfelt apologies.  We need them to dissipate the energy around hostility and negative emotion.  But this reflection is looking at the overuse of the words "I'm sorry"; the diarrhoea of apologies!

There is only so much that we can truly apologise for; that is really ours to own.  But really do we need to apologise for the weather or if someone bumps into us or for wearing paint stained runners to an exercise class or speaking too long?!  Then we find ourselves saying sorry for saying sorry!!!!  

Often we can perceive situations as offensive to others that other people don't actually find offensive and we apologise unnecessarily.   Maybe this could this boil down to not wanting to do wrong and a fear of upsetting others.  Over-apologisers may not be aware of what they are doing but at a subconscious thought level they may be trying to seek or hold the approval of others.  It can also become a filler word; especially in an anxious moment where silence is uncomfortable.

It can reach a point where it becomes a subconscious addiction.  A need to apologise for every little thing.  Each sentence can contain an apology!  Just have a listen to where and when you apologise and see if there may be a little overuse issue there.  Overuse can lead us to being just like the little boy who cried wolf so when we really need to make an apology the power of it's meaning can be lost.

Challenge:
* Listen to your words and see how many apologies you make.
* What are the expectations that you place on yourself and situations that leads you to apologise?
* When you apologise, have you actually done something wrong or is this a habit?