We only have two human emotions. This goes against so much of our thinking doesn't it!!! But think about every human emotion we experience that is not love..... anger, frustration, jealousy, resentment, hatred, anxiety, guilt just to name a few. Every single one of them stems from fear.
Every thought we have comes from a either place of love or a place of fear. Love is what we are born with and fear is what we learn as soon as we start attaching meaning to events. We cannot experience both at the same time as they are opposing and contrasting.
From love, we appear to conjure happiness, joy, contentment and a feeling of peace and often time feels to stand still. We don't feel the need to look forward or relive the past; we are happily present.
Acting from a place of fear, we can't be in a place of love... coming from a place of fear is highly constricting. It feels safer to stay small and we can feel as though everything is "working against us". "Identify with fear and you will be a stranger to yourself." (A Course in Miracles).
Some times we may unknowingly employ fear to keep us small, or use it to replay stories that keep us a victim because bursting through the comfort zone bubble can be incredibly uncomfortable and often requires hard work. But it is these times when not in alignment with our true self and place of love that we can feel "off". We can be presenting with all the fear symptoms of frustration, anger, anxiety and we may not know why.
When feeling any emotions that aren't love, ask yourself the question "what am I afraid of?"
Activities and questions to ponder:
* Think of someone who you have in the past or now compared yourself to. What brings up emotion in you? What emotion comes up for you and how does this stem from fear? What are you afraid of that this person is bringing to light for you?
* There are so many examples of local and world events at the moment that are sparking fear. For example think about racism. What emotions does racism bring up? What ultimately are the underlying fears?
* Think about how you feel when you do something in alignment with what you love. How do you feel? Connect into that feeling and energy. We want to try and come into this space as frequently as we can as it is impossible to feel fear when in a place of love.
I sit in neither negativity or positivity today and that's ok.
I'm listening. Listening to the frustrations my body is trying to share with me and accept them. Rather than push through and fight them though, I will listen and rest.
It seems the further along the journey of life, the more turbulent the rollercoaster. There are ups and there are downs. The goal of the journey is to level them out a little so the highs aren't as high and the lows aren't as low.
My post may be 14 hours later than I like but that's ok.
My body is telling me an early night is in order so I am listening.
Today I haven't yet returned all my missed calls; that's ok.
I'm doing the best I can with what I've got and I'm ok with that.
No judgement, no beating myself up, no ignoring my body. I'm celebrating listening. Cheers to neutral!!
Constantly caught up in the busyness loop can be not only exhausting but addictive. Many of us don't know when or how to stop the merry-go-round of jobs, appointments, places to be and people to speak to. I wonder if the reason we can find ourselves unknowingly plugging every minute of every day with tasks is so that we don't have to spend time with ourselves. We can be alone but are we really alone?!! When we have phones on, browsers open, social media alerts and the television on, we may be relaxing with ourselves but we aren't really alone with ourselves! Our conscious mind is still running the show.
Today I am sitting in silence.
Today I not not really thinking about anything.
Today I am pausing and listening to what my body is saying.
Today I am enjoying simplicity.
Today is the best day of my life!
Realistically it is not possible in our world with our commitments, relationships and purpose to completely disconnect with everything and everyone all the time (for most of us). But it is really important to have this time alone; really alone, every day.
The exciting thing is tomorrow is another today.
* Turn off all devices and remove all immediate distractions! Find a nice space that feels calming (often being out in nature works wonders). Sit there for a few moments noticing all the sensory information; are the birds singing, are the leaves moving in the breeze, does it feel cool or warm on your skin? Continue to take in all the information going on around you and then continue to sit. To begin this may feel uncomfortable especially if you haven't had time alone (really alone) for a long time! Try and be an impartial observer to your thoughts especially if you launch into "I have to do something" mode. In the early days you may only spend a minute or two but over time these periods extend and often they become a craving!
From the mouth of Paul McCartney in his song written after his mother came to him during a difficult time, "there will be an answer, let it be."
It sounds simple. And it is once we practice this. All we have is this second right here right now. We can get lost in the worry, the forward projections, the expectations, the what if's but realistically all we ever have is right here right now. So why invest precious energy and time in worrying about things that are going to happen the way they need to anyway.
"The reality is that tomorrow is most certainly uncertain and no matter how many expectations we form, tomorrow will come, tomorrow will go and it will be what it will be." (Lori Deschene)
Anxiety can weave an ugly web. Moments of truly feeling joy and happiness can be dulled with the anticipation that it will turn sour soon... Learning to enjoy the moment for what it is without the worrying about impending doom is possible when we ALLOW things to happen rather than MAKE them happen.
Our need for controlling situations can stem from fear. We are in conflict with ourselves; we keep fighting, pushing against the natural flow of how it is meant to go.
Surrender or letting it be doesn't mean becoming inactive or lazy. It means that we take action from a place of accepting what is, being grateful for where we are right now and having faith that everything is exactly as it should be.
Questions to ponder:
* What is the worst thing that can happen if I let go and let it be?
* What am I afraid of?
“You’d never invite a thief into your house. So why would you allow thoughts that steal your joy to make themselves at home in your mind?” (Author unknown).
Never put into your mind, a thought that you would not like to realise. We have up to seventy thousand thoughts each day (one every 1.2 seconds). Up to ninety-five percent of these thoughts are repeated daily. What thoughts are you repeating? Do your thoughts excite you and make you happy and light or are they based on fear and feel heavy or negative?
Thoughts are so powerful. You can bring good things into your life when you repeat them in your mind first. You will start to notice the things you concentrate on show up in your life. This is a process called manifestation or co-creation. It is entirely created by your mind.
What thoughts are you choosing for your mind? Don't discount the power of lyrics to songs, advertisements on television and lines in movies are all seeds being planted in your precious mind soil. Always choose wisely.
Life presents complex and challenging situations. Often you can’t change the situation but you can choose the meaning you attach to it. You choose the emotion you attach to every thought. The emotion you choose can then go on to build your story.
If you are confronted with a situation that makes you feel really worked up (angry or sad or resentful, anxious etc), identify that you feel that way, accept that it upset you but realise you have the choice your situation. It is the stories that we play over and over in our mind that become our reality. You actually have a choice whether to rethink the thoughts again or not. Stop and become present to the moment. Take a couple of deep breaths, get outside if you can and count your toes one by one while pressing each one down on the ground or in your shoe. Then ask yourself is this REALLY going to change my life right now. If no, ask yourself if this thought will even matter in 12 months.
Have you ever heard yourself say that bad things come in threes? Something goes wrong and often you ask “what next”? Often you are not surprised when more bad things occur. Then there is a sigh of relief after the third bit of bad luck! We attract what we think about.
On the contrary, choosing to only think about things you would like to attract in to your life, about the way you wish to be treated, the things that make you happy will attract all those things. It almost seems too good to be true but it is worth giving a go!!
Questions to ponder:
* What thoughts are you repeating?
* Do your thoughts excite you and make you happy and light or are they based on fear and feel heavy or negative?
How did you feel when you read the word declutter? Did you think yes lets bring it on or did you feel heavy and attached to all of your belongings?
This technique is such a great way to shift negative thoughts, anxiety, confusion or overwhelm.. If you ever need a visual of what the organisation of thoughts may appear like in your head have a look around you!
What does the inside of your car look like? Does it have 4 items of clothing, 3 shoes, 5 pairs of scattered sunglasses, a cubic metre of sand, over-ripe fruit under the seat, dog slobber on the windows and some rocks collected for keeping from a special walk? Do you have a "drop zone" in your home where everything is thrown when you walk in ranging from bills, bags, scarves, shopping bags, newspapers and junk mail? What is lurking in your wardrobe? Have you kept those 1980's leotards and tights (just in case you go to a 1980's dress up party one day), your first (who am I kidding - every dress you have ever purchased) formal dress and a spectrum of different sized clothes (the "goal" clothes, the comfy clothes and the current fitting clothes)?
Every extra item in our visual field is an added piece of sensory stimulation. If our surrounds are in chaos, our thoughts are also likely to be the same..... There is also the constant thought in the back of our mind of needing to get to that at some stage to sort out. We create a to-do list in our mind which is rarely addressed. It can become all consuming and create a state of anxiety which we rarely associate with the physical clutter in our lives. The physical clutter tells the brain that there is always something that needs to be done; this can be exhausting!
Where on Earth to begin.... tips to declutter:
* Choose one area to begin. Perhaps the kitchen bench or a wardrobe.
* When picking up items, ask yourself how does it make you feel? If it is to go, put it in the box or bag and don't look back!!
* A technique used by Colleen Madsen at 365 less things involves giving one item away each day (if a new item is purchased, two need to go!). At the end of the year you have decluttered 365 things.
* Maybe start with your car if it is somewhere you spend a lot of time. Often we see a result quickly!
* Remember it doesn't all need to be done at once!!
Are you someone who wants the best outcome SOOO much for your loved ones, family, friends, random strangers, your community, animals and in fact the whole Earth that given the opportunity to help, you would move mountains to give them as much as love and support as you could?
Have you ever found yourself investing so much of your own energy in trying to "fix" someone that you completely drain yourself? While trying to provide support, your invisible energy tentacles stretch out and plug in to the other person and and energetically take away all their pain and troubles; often leaving them feeling light from talking with you.
As they skip away, you all of a sudden are struck with an overwhelming feeling of exhaustion, a feeling of being completely flat, negative or you find yourself grumpy and frustrated with inanimate (or animate) objects (but are you actually grumpy and frustrated with yourself?)!
Perhaps you are a fixer and/or an empath!
Lesson number one: Keep your tentacles to yourself! As tempting as it is to plug in and ease the problems of those around you, we must remember we can drain ourselves of energy if we become invested in the problems. Just as we can impartially observe our own thoughts, we can also impartially observe the problems of others without investing our energy.
Lesson number two: we cannot "fix" anyone. We can't take away anyone else's problems, pains, fears, worries as much as we would love to. All we can do is guide, step aside and just be.
Happiness is not a goal to reach or a result to achieve. It is not found in a shopping trip, a holiday, a lotto win or in another person. It is a choice right here right now that you make. Happiness is a practice!
So often we are fixated on "becoming" happy. It can be exhausting overthinking how we "could" or "should" be happy. Is it a skill we need to acquire? But perhaps the struggles so many of us have with being happy are associated with a picture we have developed in our minds of what happiness looks like, or what our lives should be like. Perhaps happiness is accepting that everything is exactly as it needs to be.
Right here, right now I celebrate everything that my life is. I celebrate health ailments I have been suffering as they are showing me how empowered I am to help myself and make the best choices for me. I celebrate my family exactly as they are; they teach me everyday different ways of thinking about things and how to live uninhibited. I now celebrate the depths of depression; it is a place I wish no-one ever to visit but from these experiences I have really been challenged with trying to control the mind and choices. You can be no-where but in the present in that moment. Each choice I make I am happy with even if at the time it doesn't feel that way.
Not every day feels like we are surrounded by roses and sunshine, but we can focus on what we do have control over (our mind and our choices). That leaves us free from the exhaustion of examining the nitty gritty of the event, worrying about possible outcomes and comparing ourselves to what the rat race is doing.
Questions to ponder:
* Look around you right now. Can you sit in the moment and just be? (No judgement, no thoughts of how you would like it different).
* Can you surprise someone with a gift or act of kindness today?
* What do you have to be grateful for?
* Can you take some time outside in stillness for 20 minutes today?
Others includes myself....
I have no place to share any insights into the lives of other people. I cannot, will not judge them on any part of their being; their energy, their beliefs, thoughts, health, decisions or their journey.
When I choose to not judge others, I also choose to not listen to opinion from others of judgement of others.
Judgement is a direct reflection of our belief system. A belief is a thought that has been latched onto and played over and over on loop and a self-limiting belief is this thought process we have bought into that stops us from finding our sparkle. They become our stories and then we live our stories. This can then enable us to cast judgement on others as they often they may not align with our beliefs that we have created as ideal for our lives.
Sadly we can often make up our mind about someone without ever even meeting them by preconceiving them and judging them against our own belief system or even worse by listening to the perceptions others have of them.
Judgement is highly destructive. It destroys friendships, communities, our relationship with ourselves and it destroys our dreams.
Something to ponder:
* approach every single person you see today without preconception
* think about someone who you may have judged based on others opinions (not even your own) and perhaps think of them from a place of love instead (you don't have to form a friendship with this person but just think of them from a place of love instead of judgement).
* deep down we are all the same with many inner battles, worries and stories.
* have you judged yourself today? If so explore this and forgive yourself.
I let go of the desire to go back and do things differently. I accept the circumstances, experiences, decisions that have happened along the way in my life which have been exactly as they have needed to be. I cast no judgement. But now I have a choice whether I repeat certain patterns, behaviours or thoughts and find myself in similar circumstances, or whether I choose to do something different, learn the lesson and be rewarded with the gift. But in order to do this, I must look at my past only with gratitude.
I choose to address any past issues that come up with gratitude (they often surface to either play them on loop or deal with them) and forgiveness (I forgive me!).
Something to ponder:
* Imagine waking up tomorrow morning with absolutely no recollection of your past. You have no memories..... Without these memories, it is difficult to generate anxiety around future events as many of our fears and worries are based on our earlier memories. We may not even know what fear or worry is!
So if you had no past memories and no future imagery, and all you had was this moment.... what would you say and do right here right now? I imagine we would be approaching every object, every situation, interaction as we did as a 2 year old. It is much easier to appreciate pure beauty in all situations without any attached perceptions or memories.